


This is my shelter

by scotchandwhitelies



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Family Dynamics, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Married Couple, Married Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24273094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scotchandwhitelies/pseuds/scotchandwhitelies
Summary: "She's elated. Who knew a wheelchair could make a ten year old so happy ? She practically thinks I'm God now."Sam giggles then sobers as Bucky burrows himself into the covers and lets out a satiated sigh."Are you sure about this, old man ?""You mean borrowing a wheelchair for our perfectly able daughter so she can be her favorite superhero ?""That exactly.""I know it's not the most politically correct costume of the year but you should have seen her smile. We can't do no wrong when a child smiles like that."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	This is my shelter

**Author's Note:**

> I'm completely in love with "The Boys of Summer", a fantastic Sambucky AU written by Siancore which is a must read in this ship tag. But this story gave me massive "Fuck Paul Wilson" vibes so I had to write something of my own to summarize the feels. Been wanting to write Sambucky as dads for a while too.

“What did he come here for ?”

“What makes you think he had anything to ask ?”

“He’s your father, Sam. The kind of selfish bastard who never comes to see you unless he needs something. So what is it this time ?”

Sam turns around. His shoulders sag as he breathes out the answer.

“A kidney.”

“ _Whose_ ?”, Bucky asks.

The defeated look on Sam’s face tells him everything he needs to know.

“You’re kidding, right ? Tell me you’re actually kidding.”

Sam sighs. “He’s sick. Been put on a waiting list for organ donation but it’s gonna take a while. And given his age, you know his case won’t be high-priority.”

“Oh. Is it an appropriate time for me to spin you around cause ding-dong ! The witch isn’t dead but it’s a close call ?”

Sam chuckles in spite of himself and bites his lower lip to keep from smiling more.

“This ain’t funny, you ass”, he protests, swatting Bucky with his washcloth.

Bucky takes it away from Sam’s hands then puts it on the nearest prop. He takes his husband by the shoulders and looks him straight in the eye.

“Sorry but I don’t feel any compassion whatsoever with the man who kicked his eighteen year old son out the house because of his sexual orientation. I sure don’t believe in karmic justice but if I did, this would be a clear sign. You refusing to give him a kidney is gonna be the icing on the cake.”

“Buck.... I don’t want him to die. Actually...I want him to live.”

That stops Bucky in his tracks. He tilts his head in confusion.

“He’s still my father, Bucky. I don’t want him to die. _I want him to change_.”

“But we both know you’re smart enough to know that’s never gonna happen, love.”

Bucky softly cradles Sam’s cheek and kisses his forehead.

“What did you say to him when he asked for your kidney ?”

“That I was gonna think about it ?”

“Sam”, Bucky groans, pulling away.

“ _He’s my father.”_

“He doesn’t deserve this title and even less your fucking _kidney_."

Bucky sees it in his husband’s eyes then. The little boy trapped in there, endlessly seeking for his father’s approval. 

It’s daunting to Bucky because Sam has nothing to prove to the world. He’s a brilliant doctor who saves lives on a daily basis, an accomplished sportsman, and he still manages to be a generous father and husband. Sam is so in tune with his nurturing side the whole family spends every Christmas Eve helping out at the local soup kitchen. 

Bucky respects and loves how good of a man his husband is. He really does. But this time, he can’t let Sam’s kindness be directed at a man who simply doesn’t deserve it. 

They don’t talk about it much these days but he still remembers the teenager who was trembling in front of his door. Can hear the broken sobs that ravaged Sam’s body at night, when he thought it was safe to cry cause Bucky was seemingly sleeping. 

The memory makes his blood boil and he’s about to curse Sam’s father again when sticky hands grab his leg. 

Bucky lowers his head and finds their youngest child giving a toothy smile which makes him melt instantly. He bends to hoist the little boy up and presses loud kiss on his plump cheek, which earns him a delighted squeal and arms that wind around his neck so tight that he wheezes a harsh breath.

Sam watches them both with a fond smile. 

“I wanna be a sunny side egg”, Isiah says.

Bucky narrows his eyes at him. He’s spent the last two weeks trying to come up with a decent cow costume with his mediocre sewing skills and now, the boy wants to be an egg ? 

“Halloween is in two days”, Bucky gruffs, “Why didn’t you say so sooner ?”

“Because I didn’t want to be a sunny side egg yesterday”, Isiah deadpans, his brown eyes turning to slits while he glares at Bucky as if he were stupid, and just for that, Bucky bends to put the five year old back on his feet. 

Their son is already a carbon copy of Sam but just now, he also sounded exactly like him. So much it was scary.

“Sam, say something”, he says, shaking his head. Isiah draws close to Sam while suckling on this thumb.

Sam chuckles and kneels down to level gaze with their son. 

That’s the moment Viv chooses to storm inside the kitchen, almost knocking Bucky off his balance in her haste. She’s breathing heavily when she speaks, her little hands clasped together.

“Is it here ?”

Bucky and Sam exchange and fond exasperated gaze. 

“Well, hello to you too, Vivienne. How was your day ?”, Bucky taunts. 

Viv ignores him to watch Sam with pleading eyes. 

“We talked about this, young lady. There’s no way I’m stealing one of the hospital’s wheelchairs for you to cosplay Professor X”, Sam sighs as he stands up. 

“I don’t wanna be Professor X”, Viv splutters, crumpling her face in outrage, “I wanna be Barbara Gordon ! _And I can’t be her without a wheelchair_.”

“I wanna be a sunny side egg”, Isiah repeats.

His big sister watches him with such murderous eyes that Bucky draws up close and picks him up again. 

‘“Yeah we know, buddy”, he says.

Sam squeezes Viv’s shoulder then brushes her dark hair away from her eyes. 

“There’s still your Frankenstein costume”, he offers.

Viv crosses her arms and juts her lower lip in an exaggerated pout.

They couldn’t look more different, Bucky muses as he watches them. It’s not just that Viv is olive skinned and grey eyed and there’s not a semblance of likeness between their appearances. Their personalities are also nothing alike. Where Sam is good at reading other people’s emotions and reacting with tact, Viv has a hard time respecting other people’s boundaries. And she’s a deceptively smart ten year old. Has been deceptively smart even when she was just a baby actually. 

Bucky knows there’s already an entire machinery working behind her clever eyes to get what she wants. So as usual, he plays mediator. Says he’ll try calling the local store who offers medical equipment. Viv yelps excitedly and hugs his middle tight after that.

From the way Sam’s eyes have narrowed on him, Bucky can tell he doesn’t approve but they have a rule not to belie each other's decision in front of the kids.

*

*

*

*

" Dad, I don't know why you insist on putting so much effort in Isiah's costume. He changes his mind all the time. You could just buy it !", Fliss grumbles while she sets the table with Bucky.

Ever since she started high school, Bucky can’t remember a day when she didn’t whine about something. He can’t wait for her adolescent crisis to be over already.

"And fail to live up to the best gay stereotype ? Come on. These streets could use some fashion sense”, Bucky taunts just to rile her up. 

"As if the neighbors cared. And how is a cow disguise fashionable ?"

"I don't know. Ask that to Doja Cat."

"Ugh. I should have never showed you that video."

"But you did so moo !”, he says, lightly tapping a small spoon against the line of her nose, which is peppered with freckles. “Anyway, If Sam is gonna pull up like the world's sexiest Count Dracula, we're all gonna have to step up too. How's your costume coming up by the way ?"

"Well, about that... I don't think I'll go trick or treating with you guys."

"Fliss. _You love Halloween_ !"

"But I'm too old for that now. _I'm fifteen_."

"So what ? Is there an age limit to having fun ?"

"I got my period", she says bluntly.

"We're out of pads", Buck grits, suspicion turning his eyes to slits, “I’m the one who does all the shopping in this household so don’t try to lie to me.”

Fliss puts the last plate down, and her chair scrapes against the tiled floor as she takes seat. She tucks her sandy blonde hair behind her ears then, looking at Bucky through her lashes with her hazelnut eyes.

“Can I just stay here and watch the house ? We got robbed last year.”

“You best believe I’m not letting you stay here alone at night after that. And you don’t need to put on a full disguise if you don’t want to. Just slap a Darth Vader mask on, it will totally suit your mood”, Bucky snarks.

Fliss gapes at him then frames her face with her hands. She barks at her little brother not to run when they hear the pitter patter of his footsteps going down the stairs. Bucky stays annoyed by the fact Paul Wilson visited when he wasn’t there, something he explicitly told the old man not to do in the past. 

The only reason why Paul came to their wedding was because his wife threatened to divorce him if he didn’t. And he still refused to be part of the family pictures. He still left the wedding early. Bucky will never forgive him for putting such a sorrowful expression on Sam’s face.

He’s musing about it while he pulls out fiorentina baked pasta out the oven. The steaming dish is not the only thing that makes Bucky’s eyes fog when he lets it rest on a handwoven rattan pad.

Only a gentle kiss pressed against his neck alleviates the tightness in his shoulders. He breathes better when Sam’s strong arms curl around his middle and his chin rests against Bucky’s shoulder.

“Smells delicious”, Sam says, his warm breath tickling Bucky’s skin.

“That’s cause it is. You know I’m a chef”, Bucky smiles.

“I was talking about you actually. _You smell so good I wanna eat you alive”,_ his husband whispers in his ear, though not low enough that their kids cannot hear.

“ _Daddy is a carnival_ ?”, Isiah says, his brows shooting up to his hairline, little hands coming up to cover his mouth.

“It’s cannibal, Yaya. The word you're looking for is _cannibal_ ”, Fliss says with an unimpressed tone, arm reaching across the table to brush her little brother’s thick coils. 

Sam pulls away with a sheepish smile then proceeds to slice some bread. Bucky doesn’t miss the glimmer of promise in his eyes. 

*

*

*

*

"How's Viv ?", Sam asks him once he’s finished tucking all the kids in. 

Even if Vivienne insists she’s too old already, Bucky still checks for her twice because she loves to stay up late to work on obscure science experiments that have nothing to do with school.

"She's elated. Who knew a wheelchair could make a ten year old so happy ? She practically thinks I'm God now."

Sam giggles then sobers as Bucky burrows himself into the covers and lets out a satiated sigh.

"Are you sure about this, old man ?"

"You mean borrowing a wheelchair for our perfectly able daughter so she can be her favorite superhero ?"

"That exactly."

"I know it's not the most politically correct costume of the year but you should have seen her smile. We can't do no wrong when a child smiles like that."

"Possibly. Are these kids even real though ? A sunny side egg ? A wheelchair ? What happened to cowboys and pirates ?", Sam says, wheezing a a little laugh.

Bucky chuckles as well, sound muffled by the covers.

"You can talk, Sam. We met at a Halloween party. Remember your costume back then ?"

Sam glares hard but Bucky goes on.

"I believe it could have been described as 'Slutty Tinker Bell'."

"It was a dare”, Sam says, placing his book on the nightstand.

Bucky’s gaze travels down the line of Sam’s strong neck. 

He can’t believe there was a time his days used to be calm. Wonders when his heartbeat will stop speeding up at the sight of his husband. 

“Viv and Yaya are fine. I’m more worried about Fliss, you know”, Bucky muses.

Sam takes off his reading glasses then lies on his side so they gaze into each other’s eyes. 

“Yeah...She used to obsess about Halloween. Teenagehood is really weird huh.”

"What's better than free candy anyway ?", Bucky says.

"I don't know. Sleep maybe ?", Sam offers with a shit eating grin.

Bucky loosely swats his arm for that but he chuckles wholeheartedly.

"She's gonna be fine, Buck . Let our daughter go through her rebellious phase. If she wants out on this year's Halloween, we can't force her to come. Which brings me-", Sam trails, hooking two fingers under Bucky’s collar.

"I thought you’d be too exhausted for that”, Bucky points with a skeptical brow.

"When am I ever too exhausted for sex mmh ?"

Bucky holds his hand up then, eyes misting as he recounts the few times Sam wasn’t in the mood to be touched. His husband chuckles, pushes lightly on his shoulders until Bucky is positively pinned to the bed.

"Just lay down and spread those legs.”

“You fuckin’ me tonight ?”, Bucky grins.

“No. _You’re puttin’ out_."

"Spoken like a true romantic, Mr Wilson-Barnes. You fancy leaving some dollar bills on the bedside table when you're done ?"

Sam leans to lick a broad stripe along Bucky’s throat. A low groan slips past his lips at how good it feels.

"I might do that. You'll need something to wipe your tears with once I'm done with you, _husband_."

Bucky growls lowly at the taunt, blood immediately rushing south . His fingers reach for Sam's face to scratch his trimmed beard while his husband settles astride his thighs. He grins at the way Sam shivers with the feel of his calloused hands.

"Time to get to work then, big guy. You think you can give me two ?"

" _Three_ ", his husband corrects with a sly smile, bending to give Bucky a hard kiss, his hands trailing along his ribs. 

Bucky takes hold of Sam’s shoulders and squeezes tight, giving back as good as he receives, ploughing his mouth in anticipation of what’s to come.

There’s no gracefulness to their movements, just unfiltered need and want because it’s been so long since they got to do this. Way too long.

Sam scrounges for the lube they keep in the bedside table at the speed of light. Usually, Bucky would take his time to prepare him, just so he gets to hear his greedy moans turn into pathetic little whines, but this time, he just sits back and enjoys the view. Tries to control his ragged breathing while the other man pulls down his pants and grasps his his length possessively.

Sam sneaks in a lick that makes Bucky throw his head back and bite hard on his lips. His man gives him no mercy and strums him lazily, his mouth chasing Bucky’s small puffs of breath.

“ _You’re so hard, love_...Think I can take all that dick ? ”, he grins, his thumb tracing delicious circles around Bucky’s glans, gathering the slickness there before spreading it around.

Then he releases him to take off his pants. Bucky glares at him but it’s hard to look intimidating when his eyes are all droopy with desire. His chest heaves with need. He snakes a hand along Sam’s hip then cradles the thick meat of his ass to pull him closer.

His mouth brushes against Sam’s and his voice is straining when he finds just enough air to speak. 

“Just ride me, darlin’. _Ride your husband's dick, Sam_.”

Sam stills just so at the words. It’s Bucky’s only respite until the other man carves his hands into his hair and kisses him hard. It’s not long before Sam lines up Bucky’s dick with his tight hole. 

He bites on his tongue to keep from howling, unable to detach his gaze from the magnificent man who lets him in with calculated slowness. 

They’ve only just started and yet, Bucky is ridiculously close. His hands shoot up to claw Sam’s narrow hips the minute he starts to move. Little sinuous rolls that make Bucky’s eyes roll back inside his skull. 

“That good ?”, Sam taunts, leaning in so they breathe each other’s air. His hands slide down Bucky’s shoulder to glide across his chest in soft circles.

Bucky chuckles darkly and relishes in the the weak groan Sam lets out when his large hand smacks against rich dark skin.

Sam wheezes a breathy laugh, nuzzling Bucky’s cheek before slightly pulling away. He slides his T-shirt over his head and sends it flying away without a care. 

They both still at the audible noise of a brass vase tumbling down.

“Shit”, Sam giggles against Bucky’s throat. 

Bucky snarls. “ _Don’t you dare get up._ ”

Sam shakes his head, flexes his muscles and presses his hands against the wall. He lets out a soft sigh as he resumes his languid pace, up and down Bucky’s dick. 

The pleasure washes both of their minds away.

*

*

*

*

An hour later, Bucky finds Sam sitting in their bed after making a quick bathroom break. He’s kneading sore spots in his hands, looking thoughtful.

Bucky approaches carefully, and lifts up the wet washcloth he’s been holding when Sam looks up. 

Sam reaches for the cloth with a tight lipped smile and wipes the dried cum off his chest. Bucky sits at the edge of the bed until he’s finished. His body is so relaxed he’s feeling as loose as a noodle. He can tell from the tears shimmering in Sam’s eyes that he’s not feeling the same. 

His husband’s hand trembles then. Bucky takes the washcloth away from him and pulls him close until Sam’s head rests against his shoulder. 

He strokes Sam’s head and back, shutting his eyes because whenever his love is in pain, it causes an ache in his belly.

“I know I should hate him”, Sam says with a stuttering voice. “But I just can’t. I-I…”

“It’s okay, love. You’re okay”, Bucky says, pressing a kiss against his temple. He maneuvers their body until Sam’s back is pressed against his chest then, wrapping his arms around him as hard as he can.

“I’m gonna tell him no, Buck. I swear. _He won’t be getting no kidney from me._ ”

Bucky searches for Sam’s face. Reads the strong resolve in them. Somewhat, he’s not just feeling proud but also immensely sad. 

It’s gonna break Sam’s heart someday. To know he could have had a shot at saving his father’s life. 

“You love him ?”, Bucky asks softly.

Sam shudders then.

Bucky rubs his back.

“ _No self-censorship_ ”, he says, reminding Sam of his own rule. The one he tells the kids when they’re adamant about sulking.

Sam looks over his shoulder to give him a swift look then turns his focus to the shaded glass of the walk-in wardrobe that adjoins their bedroom.

“Yeah. I do. I really wish I didn’t but I still remember him being good, you know. Taking me fishing. Teaching me how to play baseball. Reading me stories when my teeth hurt and his voice was the only thing that helped.”

Realization dawns on Bucky’s face. 

For years, he’s kept Sam’s father as the metaphorical monster under the bed. But that’s not what Sam needs. Explanations is what he needs. Closure is what he needs. And he’s never gonna get it if he follows Bucky’s wish to just stay away from his father no matter what. He’s never gonna get it if Paul just dies.

The idea escapes him before he can really think through all its implications.

“ _I’ll do it_ ”, Bucky says.

Sam whips his head to look at him, confusion painted all over his features.

“You’ll do what ?”

“The kidney. I’ll give mine if it’s possible. Though I’m sure it will since I got type O blood.”

Sam lifts his hand to cradle Bucky’s bearded cheek then.

“You’ll do this for him ? But...You hate Paul.”

Bucky shakes his head.

“I won’t do it for him. _I’ll do it for you_.”

“I can’t let you do that, love”, Sam says with a sorry expression.

Bucky lifts his chin in mock arrogance.

“Who says I was asking for your permission huh?”

His husband scrambles to his knees, frames Bucky’s face in his broad hands. 

“You know how my father is, Bucky. He’s snotty enough to say no even if you try. Because saying yes would mean he was wrong about you all this time and-”

“I know”, he says softly, curling his hands around Sam’s wrists, “But I’ll give it a try because time is what you need with your dad. And we can’t afford to run out of it, right ?”

Sam stills remains unsettled about Bucky’s proposal. He slowly shakes his head.

“There will be no try”, Sam says with a defeated sigh. 

“ _Sam_ -”

“ **No**. You’re not his blood and he still refuses to respect you. He doesn’t deserve such a precious offering. And if you find him to talk about your kidney, I swear I’m divorcing you, Barnes.”

Bucky sighs in frustration. “Then I don’t know what you want me to do, love.”

The other man gives him an indulgent smile. 

“It’s simple, really. Just be yourself. Keep on being a great daddy to our kids…”

He laces their fingers together. Nuzzles Bucky’s nose then presses the softest kiss against his mouth. Bucky chases his supple lips to deepen the kiss just so.

“ _Keep on loving me the way you do_ ”, Sam whispers like a secret.

Bucky tilts his head back to watch him better. There’s tenacity in Sam’s eyes. Tenacity and unwithering love. He raises his own hands to cradle his husband’s face.

“Okay”, he breathes, making a silent prayer that everything will be alright and he’ll get to grow old with his love. 

Old enough for them to see their grandkids grow. 

Bucky can practically see the picture under his lids when he shuts his eyes. They’ll grow old and retire in a family house in the Hamptons and only a fence of sunbrowned timber will separate them from the beach. The kids will come visit every summer. Sam and him would get to renew their vows with their naked toes wiggling in the sand.

The vision is so vivid Bucky can almost taste the ocean spray.

_Yeah._

They’re gonna be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you enjoyed this piece <3  
> Tumblr is scotchandwhitelies if you wanna chit chat.


End file.
